It's always on the weekend when my mind processes all that its been inundated with the whole week. It's always when I can't sit and write and contain that the wheels tend to run overtime. Topic of the week? The dreaded question. Well, not dreaded for many therapists I know, but for the likes of me.
"What's your specialty?"
Before moving to Israel, I had hardly encountered this phenomenon of every therapist needing to peg themselves as some sort of specialist or another. It was only once I left the cushy world of community mental health (I say cushy because it was my longest standing job and I felt it was my psychological home) of needing to have the answer to this question on the tip of my tongue...or else.
For a long time it's been nagging at me. Come up with a good answer. Come on- if you can't answer it, then you are worthless in this saturated world of wannabe healers. You count for nothing if you can't give a person your expertise, skill set and success rate in 4 words or less. What kind of therapist ARE you if you can't answer this question?
Could it be that I can be an effective healer without pegging myself as an expert in this or that method of treatment? Could it be that I can be passionate about my work and attract clients without identifying and committing to serve the specified "vacuum of need" that would render me worthy of calling myself a therapist? Could my hard-earned title of "licensed clinical social worker" be worth something on its own? When has the word "eclectic" lost its power? I didn't feel this same urgency to define myself as a therapist while living in NY, where most therapists are happy to call themselves "eclectic" or "integrative," amassing a wide skill set and adapting their treatment style to the needs of the client.
That's what being in this culture of squares and labels has someone like me ruminating about.Until one day, after lots of soul searching, sessions with my own life coach, and turning this question over in my head countless times, it dawned on me. Yes. To all the above questions, Yes.
Something about saying "my specialty is mental health, addictions, relationships, women, children, personality disorders, mood management, CBT, DBT and trauma work" didn't exactly fit the bill of what they want to hear. So I can't say it. I won't say it. I won't say I am an expert in any of the above topics, because I don't believe that is what good therapy is all about. And I believe it would sell me short if I could narrow my SELF down to 4 words or less.
Because in essence, that is what I believe a GOOD therapist is. A SELF who is able to effectively connect to their client's experience, who is able to truly listen, witness, be there during the client's growth process. A good therapist uses her SELF as a tool, to provide a safe, non judgmental space where the client can feel free to share at the right pace for their ultimate growth. The self is used as a tool to objectively hear, relate to, contain, sustain and enable growth. It's all about the relationship in the end. You can have as many specialties as you want but will get nowhere if you can't create a working relationship with your client. And the flip-side is true from my experience as well. You will enable a client to make progress (whatever that means for them) if you are able to connect effectively. And this key tool, this ability to connect, is not something that can be described in 4 words or less.
In my eyes, and in my heart, I know that it is not about the diagnoses or symptom picture the therapist knows all too well, nor is it the letters after their name, or the professional skills acquired, that make the difference and enable successful work to be done. It is so much more than a specialty. It is a process. It is a calling.
